Tomorrow marks the first anniversary of our little girls L and D being in our home.
While we are ecstatic about this I am not quite sure how to handle it.
Even though we have had more than 30 kiddos in our home since we were licensed.
These are the first ones to make the year mark.
I have really been thinking about this, and have no idea what to do lol.
While I think a celebration of some kind is in order. I am concerned that it might in some way make L have a less than positive emotional response. She has recently hit the wall so to speak. The one that all the kids hit, that shows that they have realized this is a serious thing. That they are not going back to the home they shared with their bio family as soon as they want to. In her case this has manifested itself in acting out, fits, refusal to follow even the simplest rules.
The most concerning of those behaviors is lashing out physically agains D.
So while we want to celebrate I am hesitant.
I would greatly appreciate some feedback.
I would like to know if other foster parents celebrate these anniversarys, or is it just another day?
Please comment on the blog directly. Thanks
I don't celebrate these with the kids because I've notices that, with mine, it's all so bittersweet. They are happy to be with me but, at the same time, they're confused about what it means to NOT be with the bios (didn't they want me? is it somehow my fault? Are they going to show up & take me away from you?). So, pointing it out to them has always seemed to highlight those issues & bring them out more than normal. So, I've just stopped marking the time for them & we discuss these issues as they feel ready to.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great point. Thank you. With D she really is so young that she really does not understand, any of it. L is going through that realization period that she is not going back to the home she lived in with her bios any time soon. So I guess while it's a big deal to me, it's not to them lol
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